New Years Resolutions & Faith

We made it to 2022.  You know what that means - resolutions.  Resolutions are things that I hear a lot of people make but often just say them and let them fade as quickly as they were said.  I am guilty of that myself.  However, this year I am resolving to make two resolutions.  One resolution is to restart my blog with the goal of one blog post each month.  I had done an incredible job with making at least one blog post each month until COVID hit and just dropped the ball.  I am also open to shifting my blog posts to include more than just education experiences.  I have been blessed to live 45 incredible years and I want to share my stories and experiences as well as share some of my perspectives.  Wish me luck.

My second resolution is a bit more involved.  It remains re-centering myself and finding faith in life.  Faith is an incredibly difficult thing to explain and define as it means so much to so many.  There are many different facets of faith as well.  Faith is often cited as a cornerstone of any religion.  Growing up Southern Baptist and now being an Episcopalian, faith is key to each of these denominations.  It is key to many other religions, organizations, and groups also.  But what exactly is faith?  Does faith have different meanings experiences to others?  How do we know when we have faith and when our faith is weak?  These questions and others pose a lot for me to consider.

As I have grown older, I have come to realize that life can change quickly.  Earlier this year, I lost my father suddenly and unexpectedly.  Coupled with losing my mother when I was twenty years old, I now feel like an orphan.  The solace that I found in knowing that I always would have a place to go is now gone.  I cannot return to my native Appalachia or any other place that I will find totally secure and safe. Even though I am grown, there is still a part of me that wants the security of knowing that I can always return to my dad’s house no matter how crazy it has gotten or how bad something is.  With this security gone, I am forced to think about faith in new ways.  As we grow older, we lose loved ones.  If we are lucky, we were able to maximize our time with those before they go.  If we are lucky, we have fond memories that bring us much comfort and joy even when our loved ones die.  If we are lucky, we can find comfort in knowing that we loved others and they loved us.  While all these are incredible, not all of us are this lucky.  Some of us experience anger, bitterness, and questioning when loved ones pass. 

It is during these times that I have found FAITH to be key in helping to ease these transitions. I feel that faith involves trust and confidence in things and people.  Hebrews 11.1 explains faith as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (NRSV). Other translations are similar in indicating that there is a part of faith that is “unseen.”  Faith helps us to have belief in what we cannot see.  It also provides the critical component of hope.  With the passing of my parents, I have faith that I will see and reunite with them again in heaven.  This is part of my faith.  

Recently, I had someone who is extremely special and meaningful to me do something that is in direct violation of that person’s principles, beliefs, and integrity.  While I will never understand the reasons why this individual chose these actions, it  devastated me.  It has rocked me to the core and left me questioning my faith.  I will struggle to have a meaningful relationship with this person going forward.  It has really saddened my heart and stole joy from me.  I continue to process and question why this person chose those actions.  I have meditated on this, prayed about it, and worked to understand this.  In the end, I am not sure if I will ever fully understand the reasons why.  I never realized that my faith would be tested so quickly and deeply though.

Faith is the belief  that what we hope for will happen even if we can’t see it.  As I struggled to understand my own feelings and pain, I have come to realize that the second part of faith, of things unseen, is critical here.  Faith gives me hope for reconciliation even though I have to trust what I cannot see and understand.  I think that this hope is precisely what faith gives us in challenging times.  Much like in the passing of both my parents, faith reminds of the importance of things hoped for, both unseen and unseen.